Question: Is there bullying in the DIY community?

Let me first start off by saying how ashamed I am that this post even has to be thought about let alone written. Secondly, I know I will receive some serious backlash for this post both publicly and privately. Thirdly, this is not a post to discredit anyone for their work in the DIY community. This is just to point out that some nasty behaviour that needs to be addressed in our small little DIY corner of the internet.

To answer the Question, yes. There is some horrible bullying that goes on in this DIY community. For the most part, the DIY community is a pretty decent community to be a part of as it is pretty self regulating. Of course there are those who worry about recipe/formula “stealing”,  worry about how a persons new business will affect their business… but other than that? It’s mostly grand! There are a couple of big names in our little corner of the internet that seem to enjoy taking things over the top.

Being extraordinarily tall for my entire life, you can’t even begin to comprehend how horribly I was bullied as a kid and as a teenager. Then suffered through it again when an authority figure decided I was worthless and she made sure that I knew it. Often. Surviving through these two major bullying experiences in my life has helped made me who I am, helped me to learn how to overcome many things, but also made me feel like breathing sometimes was much too hard.

It has also taught me the importance of saying something when I see bullying and untoward behaviour. I’ve had enough of witnessing. I’ve stood on the sidelines for over two years watching this hoping each time it was just the last time it would happen. It just has gone on. Something has to be said. And I am well aware as I stated above, that by posting this, I will be opening myself up to a similar type of bullying.

In this DIY industry, there are only a small handful of wonderful communities where they should be so very proud of themselves for promoting such fantastic and wonderful communities. The biggest champion of a great community that I can recognise is Formula Botanica. With the thousands upon thousands of members, both students and graduates, there is so much encouragement and support, that it does deserve a huge recognition for promoting a true community involvement. They even continue their support when you publicly disagree with their core values. Which just helps to demonstrate how much of a community role model they are. That they agree and encourage open discussion; even when you are one of the few who firmly sit on the other side of the fence.

I do wish that there was a lot more of this kind of support and encouragement in the DIY world.

Unfortunately, the instances of encouragement and support, are few and far between.

In this DIY industry, there is a fair bit of catty, vindictive behaviour that runs rampant and is extremely uncalled for by a couple of pretty influential members. Bullying, as I have recently discovered, is difficult to define, so quoting Wiki which seems to have a nice concise definition:

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuseintimidate or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual.

~Wikipedia’s page on Bullying

School yard antics don’t belong in a community of adults. High school nastiness- which is known for its mean girl attitudes and passive aggressive comments and actions. Both of these don’t belong in our small community which is comprised of adults.

Passive aggressiveness does not belong in our community.

Bullying, most certainly does not belong in our community.

Vindictive behaviour does not belong in our community.

And before I get too high and mighty and jump on my soap box, I think there were times on this blog where I might also have been a little bit of a bully or just pig headed. I am not going to go back and edit my posts where I think this might have occurred, but I am taking responsibility and promise to check my behaviour in the future.

To watch this resentment that has gone on in the DIY community for another’s person’s success for no more than their artistic talent, these attacks that have gone on publicly, is just uncalled for.

A persons creativity, their passion, their enthusiasm, their behaviour, their substance, their grace, is what keeps you returning to read their posts, their findings, and their discoveries. Their personality and flare is what keeps you coming back for more.

Rather than being frightened of another persons success, learn from it.

Rather than being insecure, afraid, to the point of demeaning another persons amazing talents, why not show some grace?

Rather than nit picking, harping, and complaining, why not be inspired?

Let’s be adults here and look at the bigger picture. Take it all for what it really is. A challenge. Healthy competition. A learning opportunity. A push to become better. Like in all things, someone new comes along and finds ways to improve upon the way things are done. One better keep up or else you’ll fall behind.

Those of us who have any small or big corner of the internet, need to be reminded that we have a position of influence. And every time we say something nasty or take a stab at someone, it makes use look small and petty. We all need to remember to lead by example, and set a good example of how we want to be represented in this DIY community.

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14 thoughts on “Question: Is there bullying in the DIY community?

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  1. This is such a good post! And perfect timing. I am glad that you pointed out that even small accounts can influence people. I believe that you you put out is what you get. I thankfully have had the most wonderful experience in the DIY Community.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m with you for the most part. Thankfully, I’ve not been aware of any bullying directed at me. That being said, I’ve been around in the DIY community for a number of years and have witnessed many people doing the nasty.

      Like

  2. It has gotten awful. Some have taken to doxxing people. Some spread lies through a whisper campaign (Hi ~name removed~). Some pre-ban people from their groups not because of things they have done but because of the company they keep. Liars, thieves, slanderers. And you have to wonder why? Don’t we all just want to make good things and learn along the way?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometimes bullying is well hidden and untold.. We should all be honest and tell our stories so that kind of shitty persons stop their awful behavour… My name is peppy and I recently stoped my business because of a bully!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just wish people would remember to treat others how they would like to be treated. And that goes for everyone- not just the bullies!

      Sorry to hear about your business! I know the feeling of hopes being crushed due to people.

      Like

    1. Thank you for reading it! I just got tired of reading someone’s envious comments that I had to say something. We can all improve how we do things, why stop someone from shining because someone can’t be bothered to keep up?

      Can’t wait till I catch up reading your blog! And have time to make the recipe I’ve got bookmarked! (The aha one)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I still want to call you Penny but will call you Barb. But I’m thinking Penny when I type Barb.
    You know, I was just having a days long conversation with my guys about the internet. I’ll spare you all my ramblings but the point to me of this discussion was this; once upon a time, before internet, people didn’t yell and scream at complete strangers. We didn’t call one another names because we disagreed with them. We were a kinder more tolerant people. We had manners. We were a polite society. I know we had problems but not like this. There seems to be more hate than love or like, now.
    Life before internet wasn’t so easy, for instance, to travel. Planning a cross country trip meant writing each state for maps and brochures and making phone calls and now it’s click click and done! I don’t hate the internet. I love having access to everything I’m interested in. But I could live without it. I miss that lost world that didn’t hate so much. (Politics anyone?) I definitely wouldn’t cry if the world wide web went caput.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m on my phone replying so hopefully the typos will be minimal!
      I’m not sure we were a more tolerant people back in the day. I feel that we knew words and actions could hurt, and the big one, we had no choice but to say them face to face. No hiding behind a screen. No hiding who we were. These days, the anonymity is our downfall. It’s so strange to re-join a western society and see how manners have fallen away, how how many times politeness is mistaken for flirting. Yup. You’re accused of flirting because you have manners.
      I just really miss human beings acting like decent human beings. I’d love to be able to go back to when, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” days.
      And Christie, it’s great to have you here!

      Like

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